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Joke of the Day

"The hot chick I hooked up with last night must be a Berny Sanders fan... Because when I went to go pee, I could feel the burn."

"What do you call the musical Messiah? Gsus"

"Son: what will happen when I die? Me [lowers newspaper]: there'll be a lot of left over sandwiches & then we'll turn your room into a gym"

"A mushroom goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi."""

"What's good on pizza, but not on dick? Cheese"

"How many pallbearers are needed at an Indian funeral? 2, it only takes two people to carry a trash-can."

"[nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? ""Yes of course we do!"" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*"

"what do you get when one rapper eats another? FOOD CHAINZZZ!!"

"(slightly dirty) What's the difference between a striptease artist and a trapeze artist A trapeze artist has a cunning stunt...."

"What would martin luther king be if he was white? Alive."