86035

Joke of the Day

"I think I might be famous because twitter just asked me to verify my account. Does this mean I have to do coke now?"

"Why did the fish swim off of the waterfall? For the Halibut."

"The Wall Street protesters are right... There is no Jobs."

"*school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm"

"Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack!"

"The NFL these days Hide yo kids, hide yo wife"

"Dis earing letters? There's an 'app' for that."

"So i just came back from a transformers convention... ...and boy, are my arms tires!"

"You're not cool if you have to tell people you're cool. I'm looking at you, Cool Whip."

"Once my credit card got stolen and I never reported it. The thief spent less than my wife."