85997

Joke of the Day

"Before you wreckyourselfvakia Czechoslovakia"

"I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box."

"Biotechnologists should invent a totally transparent groundhog. It'd look creepy as hell, but spring would come early forever."

"Laughed hysterically and said ""Oh yes, please do"" after the pizza shop guy asked if he could put the sauce in my box. I think I scared him."

"What do you say to a black guy selling drugs? *""Hello, mr. pharmacist.""* What did you think it would be, you racist?"

"If you ever go skydiving and your parachute doesn't open don't worry You have the rest of your life to fix it"

"I'm a feminist So is my wife, but because I'm a man, I'm better at it."

"How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold my penisI mean my motherI mean the ladder."

"Why did the hipster fail making ice cubes for his bourbon? Because he pulled out the tray before it was cool"

"What did the sphinx say? What did the sphinx say when he found out the pharaoh caught him up in a pyramid scheme? Egypt me!"