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Joke of the Day
"Which actor is resting in pieces? Alan RIPman"
Next Joke
"Fords new heated tailgates.. Fords working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won't be cold."
"Job interview: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" ""Honesty."" ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""
"No wonder ghosts can be disruptive. Some are hundreds of years old and they have to hear us say shit like ""My mouse is out of batteries."""
"Three guys walk into a bar... John Wick kills them with a pencil. A fucking pencil."
"The hurricane coming in is called Joaquin. When it leaves, does it Joaqout?"
"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour. Edit: Wow this blew up. As a German, I didnt expect this."
"I want to play checkers today so I can say ""Martin Luther King me!"""
"I call bullshit on all the times I've talked to strangers and they've not offered me candy."
"What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down."