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Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To put out fires. Why do elephants have large, flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"Save some a's for the rest of us, Aarons."

"What do you call an unconscious computer programmer? dfghjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj"

"The 4 stage of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus 3. You are Santa Clause 4. You look like Santa Claus"

"What is the capital of Greece? $20 (A friend told me this a few days ago)."

"I hate when her husband comes home early. She says I'm the pool boy. And I spend the next few hours cleaning the pool. This is BULLSH!T!"

"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."

"I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes My parents named me Michael but I totally looked like a Ryan"

"Missing LSD tablets Hey Gran, you haven't seen my tablets, they're labelled LSD. Gran: Fuck your tablets, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen!"

"I like to think of myself as a guy who doesn't scare too easily but I just beat the shit out of a motion activated air freshener."