85727

Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To put out fires. Why do elephants have large, flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"Whats the best christmas present? A broken drum You just can't beat it ba dum tisssssss"

"Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises hand* Teacher: i just said, no stupid questions Me: *lowers hand*"

"How does it feel to be a famous rock-and-roll musician? Fan-fucking-tastic!"

"What do Scottish owls sing? Owld Lang Syne."

"The only ""b"" word a girl should be called is beautiful Bitches love being called beautiful"

"I wish my girlfriend was like my internet My internet goes down once a week for at least two hours"

"I heard it said that one in every three people will cheat in a relationship. I just can't tell if it's my wife or my girlfriend."

"Wonders why women spend so much on sunglasses? Wouldn't it be cheaper to tint the kitchen windows?"

"What has 5 eyes? invisibility"