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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he fucked off."

"What happens when you take a joke too far? The 45th President of the United States of America."

"Restaurant A friend said she heard there's a wonderful restaurant on the moon, but nobody goes there because there's no atmosphere..."

"Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast? In France, one egg is un oeuf"

"Thai masseuses are deceitful bitches Give them a chance and they'll walk all over you"

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."

"What is the difference between being hungry and horny? What she means by ""eat out."""

"If TV has taught us anything, it's not to get on a boat with a man we have just started dating, for it is there that he will murder us"

"Made me laugh a bit A former Vice President recently wrote a song about math. It's called the Al Gore Rhythm."

"Why did the salmon cross the road? To get to the front page"