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Joke of the Day

"Why is six afraid of seven? Seven made six confused."

"I'm at home eating grape jelly. That shit is my jam."

"Guys who go see 50 Shades of Grey... Do you all remain seated an extra 30 min after the movie's done? "

"There is no Control (Ctrl) button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control."

"Why do people say,""You can't make this stuff up."" Nope. Not true at all. You can literally make up anything you want anytime."

"Weird scene in The Hobbit where Peter Jackson walks through the middle of the set and takes a 45-minute shit with the door open."

"What do you call a man in a tree with a briefcase? A branch manager."

"If my wife were a car, she'd be a Ferrari. I paid through the nose for it but only take it out for a spin maybe once a month. ... Also, I wish I had a Ferrari."

"What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch? Bernie Sanders exists."

"The new Linkin Park album"