5046

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said to me that she wanted me to tease her, so I said, ""All right, fatty."""

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Jesus turned it into wine."

"When your telling a joke But you punch up the fuckline"

"How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse...."

"If someone catches me staring I quickly look to my left & right so they think ""oh that girl's not looking at ME she's looking at EVERYTHING"""

"I've always wanted to be a comedian... But I have a tremendous fear of being laughed at."

"What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper? Listen hotshots don't monkey around with me!"

"bowler hat on a donkey Do you know why it's not recommended to put a bowler hat on a donkey? Because no one likes a smartass..."

"Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space? Because nobody liked it on earth."

"""OH MY GOD IS THAT GLUTEN ON THE FLOOR!?!?!"" Great way to clear the checkout lines at Whole Foods."