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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess."

"I wish my new best friend from Spain came with subtitles, because pittbull only taught me uno do tres cuatro..."

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"The police just released a statement that someone is going around pickpocketing midgets. I'm surprised someone could stoop so low."

"If shes's being being anal about it Give her sex and you'll make her whole day, Give her anal sex and you'll make her hole weak"

"What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument? No lye?"

"[@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are ""definitely not 3 ducks in a suit."" 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct"

"My friend died of autoerotic asphyxiation... The story is a real tearjerker."

"How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him."