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Joke of the Day

"What's the best time of this month for vampires? It depends on the girl"

"""I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father."" - Spock and the guy I end up marrying."

"Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks."

"Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC? Adam and Eve"

"Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real"

"Teacher: ""Which book has helped you the most in your life?"" Student: ""My father's check book!"""

"First white Muslims in Boston, now a 7'0"" gay black pro athlete. Narrow-minded conservatives everywhere are having a very confusing month."

"A naked man walking through the jungle... ...when an elephant looks at him and says: -How can you even breath through this thing?"

"Two lawyers walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"What type music should you practice before doing something dangerous? Safety measures."