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Joke of the Day

"""My first wife didn't have a gag reflex"" Wow that's amazing ""Yeah she never laughed at any of my jokes"""

"What did the white supremacist say to his friend after watching a plot twist? I did Nazi that coming."

"Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again."

"*tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*"

"so i was walking down the street and this homeless guy was like ""hey! give me ten dollars."" and i was like ""got change for $100"""

"I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me."

"[pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet... PRODUCER: *yawns*...and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit"

"When your friend offers you free food, all trust is gone out the window!!! The fuck did you do to it? Nothing, I swear! Okay I'll take a fucking bite."

"What do you call memories of zombies? FLESHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Home is where the heart is, and hopefully it's where all of the other vital organs reside too."