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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar... He says ""Ow"""

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"What if sharks hug with their mouths? Just sayin."
"I can give you the reason for anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."
"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"
"Be careful what batteries you use. My GF uses Energizer batteries and her kid keeps going and going."
"What's worse than eating out your grandmother? Banging your head on the coffin lid."
"How do you know if a woman uses a vibrator when pregnant The kid stutters"
"I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not."
"How Long is a Chinese name."
"Hello 911. ""He's back what do I do?"" Brent? ""Yes"" It's the just the mailman remember ""Ok, sorry."" Bye ""Wait, he put something in my mailbo"