85084

Joke of the Day

"When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you??"

"""The more the merrier!"" usually means ""oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"""

"How's everyone holding up ? It's crazy out there. I've killed at least 15 zombies already !! Why are they all carrying candy ?"

"What's the difference between a blimp and a blow job every day? One's a Goodyear, the other's a fucking awesome year!"

"What the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians a long time ago."

"I used to work at a calendar store But they fired me for taking a day off."

"Man outside walmart is asking for donations for the drug and alcohol outreach program You mean there's people who don't have access to them?"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus"

"A feminist asked me how I saw lesbians. Apparently *in HD* wasn't the right answer."

"What do white supremacists send their toddlers to before kindergarten? Pre-KKK"