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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend peed her pants and asked me if she was still beautiful. I told her, ""urinate out of ten."""

"MUST WATCH heartwarming video! Limbless man rents himself as talking door stop for rich people to afford daughter's seizure medication."

"So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said. I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say."

"If life was easy it would be called... Your Mom."

"Never trust an atom they make up everything"

"Jared was a good eater But he always left a little behind"

"Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7."

"Why do pedophiles LOVE twenty eight year old boys? Because, DUDE, there's 20 of them!"

"I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say ""He's in a better place now."""

"Oh, a BEAR hug. *starts putting clothes back on*"