84963

Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of ""making love""? Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her."

"People in India must really enjoy sandwiches. I heard there were almost 250,000 people in a new deli."

"new job in call center I got a new job with the local suicide hotline. I tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it."

"4th law of thermodynamics: If you accidentally make a fart sound w/ your chair in a crowded room it's impossible to recreate that sound."

"A man goes to Macy's to buy a sweater. He swipes his card but it didn't register. The cashier asks him to try his card again and the man replies, ""I already did and it fits great!"""

"Hi Mrs. Smith ... can Johnny come out and play baseball with us? Oh you mean little boy ... you know Johnny is a quadraplegic ! Yes I know Mrs. Smith. We want to use him for home plate !"

"I hate porn that develops too much story line. I actually watched till the end and forgot to"

"Aspirin is a Placebo!!! That sense of relief you're feeling is all in your head."

"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"Are Smurfs just a bunch of midget Avatars? #yeahimhigh"