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Joke of the Day

"Two were sitting in the table on a bar First one: We are leaving. Second one: No, we are staying. First one: WE ARE LEAVING. Battery on my phone is 4%."

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"""America is getting snow? How cute"" -Canadians"
"One day I hope to be doing so well that people accuse me of being a clone"
"I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there. I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint."
"What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you will rise and shine."
"Women are good politicians... Because they know how to introduce bills in the house."
"I watched the African version of ""Man v. Food"", but it was just a half-hour of a guy chasing a gazelle."
"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."
"Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh."
"What has 400 legs and 23 teeth? The front row of a Trump rally"
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