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Joke of the Day

"Two were sitting in the table on a bar First one: We are leaving. Second one: No, we are staying. First one: WE ARE LEAVING. Battery on my phone is 4%."

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"What is White, Fluffy and swings through a cake shop? A Merangue-utang :-D"
"What's grey and comes in quarts? [NSFW] Elephants."
"I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants."
"What do you get when you cross menstruation and apples? The MaxiPad"
"First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes her skin had the glow of a peach her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me."
"He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed."
"Can you tell me what you call a person from Corsica? Course a can."
"MUGGER: Empty your pockets! ME: But these are cargo shorts. (45 min later) ME: That's the left one MUGGER: Seriously. ME: I am SO sorry"
"What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff? Nothing, she had her mittens on."
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