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Joke of the Day

"According to my google history, I spent most of last night trying to buy a llama."

"What do you call a Pumpkin who eats too much? A Plumpkin."

"How do athletes send e-mails? On the Inter-sweat."

"How are genders like the twin towers? There used to be two of them but now everyone gets offended if you talk about it."

"When dealing with the police it's important to always remain calm and be white."

"At cardio class tonight, a 22yo size 0 told me ""you run fast for someone your age"" so now I have a body to bury if anyone wants to help me."

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. This kid working at Baskin Robbins is pretty scared. Now he's crying in the corner."

"So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement"

"How does a cactus do his math homework? He uses a cacti-lator!"

"(guy glaring at me because he wants to use the stationary bike) *adds 72 hours to cardio workout*"