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Joke of the Day

"What does a Mexican Morpheus say? Neo, you are the Juan ... I'll show myself the door..."

"Cheer up Hilary! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under."

"Fred: I'm sure I'm right. Betty: You're as right as rain - all wet!"

"What should you do if there is a blackout at night? Call the police, they'll come and shoot it."

"Why does Anders Brevik oppose gassing the Muslims? Because he knows it's a waste of time, it's impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower"

"are you the girl who types everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *turns to prosecutor and answers his question with dolphin noises*"

"Bluegrass music It's finger pickin' good!"

"My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?"

"Cheap prostitutes are like coffee If you put your dick in them it's gonna burn"

"Its ironic.... ... that you lot just don't get irony."