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Joke of the Day

"ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT"

"What's a pirate's favorite firework? M80"

"Terry wogans head stene is to be left blankity blank"

"Did you hear about Mr and Mrs Ballbearing? Yeah, they just had a BB."

"How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who always lose their train of thought"

"Harambe walks into a bar. Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"That one day of fame on Facebook when it is your birthday."

"yo mama joke I got a yo mama joke thats almost as stupid and ugly as yo mama"

"TIFU And by I, I mean Ellen Pao."