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Joke of the Day
"A man walks into a bar.... the bar is then raised to prevent anyone else from walking into it."
Next Joke
"I know a guy who can get us in to Whole Foods without a cover charge."
"The difference between pizza and love is that when the pizza ends it doesn't send you subtweets."
"What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids? Jack The Kipper."
"Inspired by Baby Jesus, I'm hoping to get nailed this weekend."
"Did you hear about the gay midget? he came out of the cupboard"
"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"
"My wife was fixing the caulk around our tub... Me: You should use some caulk softener to make that easier. Wife: Is that like a picture of your mom or something? (actual conversation)"
"Ever notice it's only ""stalking"" if the person doing the stalking is unattractive."
"My favourite gymnastics move is the double cheeseburger."