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Joke of the Day

"[Sportsjoke] How do you know it's going to be a white christmas? It's approaching with deceptive speed."

"I don't know what you guys think about Michael Jackson... and these blackmail allegations but I'm pretty sure he used to be one."

"Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes"

"What's the difference between 'your mum' and 'knock knock' jokes? A door doesn't let you come inside."

"How are teenaged boys like the enzyme helicase? They both want to unzip your genes! credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :)"

"I accidentally swallowed a contact lens today... I've never seen my colon with such clarity before."

"Anyone who claims on the internet that the President is a Communist, should be forced to spend a year in 1934 Siberia."

"Small kid : Mom what happens when you die? Mom : Your soul will go to heaven. Small kid : No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?"

"Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it! \- George Carlin"

"Xerxes I is the most successful carpet dealer. He went to the West with a million Persians and came home with only a handful of them."