84758

Joke of the Day

"My penis tingles when I'm in danger. Wait, nevermind; she said danger was her middle name."

"History has it wrong, Paul Revere wasn't trying to warn us of an British attack.... He was just selling door to door porn."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show these fu**in pedestrians how its done!"

"I thought for my whole life that air was free... ...then I bought a bag of chips."

"The definition of agony is... A one handed man hanging on to a cliff for his dear life with itchy balls."

"Click here for joke. Click the back button for joke."

"I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on."

"Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center? Too many walkers."

"When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper ""You did this."""

"What is a pirate's favourite letter? He doesn't have one. He's illiterate."