183047

Joke of the Day

"""SOMEONE IS VAPING"" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it ""HURRY"" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE ""OMG"" 911: GET OUT GET OUT"

"fools cosa rara"

"If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors"

"My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about."

"Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them."

"heres a funny one. womens rights /s"

"*raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren't my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry"

"I've been cheating on you guys. Lately, I've been spending my time on my job and real life. They don't mean anything to me, I swear."

"Who takes the most drugs? The police."

"There's no sex like the we haven't had it for awhile' kind of sex."