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Joke of the Day

"Literally The Best Joke Ever. The Best Joke Ever."

"My son decided to help me clean the car today. After ten minutes of watching him, I told him to use some elbow grease. Two hours later, the idiot came back and told me that he couldn't find it."

"RED RIDING HOOD: what big pupils you have grandmother WOLF: yeah I found some pills in the bathroom I love you they're unreal you want some?"

"Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you're a part of something?"

"How do the Kardashians change a broken light bulb They buy a new house"

"Elevator is broken. Had to use the other one. #firstworldproblems"

"Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?"

"My friend told me he hasn't pooped in over a month, but I'm not sure I believe him... ...either way he's full of shit."

"So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt... sources say it was a real shin dig."

"I finally decided I want to be a car mechanic. Guess it just took some motor-vation."