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Joke of the Day

"Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts ""No this is Creative WRITHING class"" Other student squirms around on floor ""Very good Todd"""

"Poison control sounds pretty easy. Most poisons can't even move."

"Wife: ""Would you like to help me....?"" Translation: ""Do it or die."""

"I'm like a cupcake, I'll go straight to your ass, girl."

"What do you call an invisible, cross-dressing dad? A transparent"

"What's a Russian's favorite service provider? Sprint."

"Yo mamma so ugly When one direction saw her they went in the other direction"

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? You take the F out of safe, and the F out of way."

"Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains"

"Why did the bad comedian visit the dominatrix? Because he was a sucker for Pun-ishment."