84526
Joke of the Day
"I use to bleach my bangs so I know about regret."
Next Joke
"What language does a flight attendant speak? Plane English."
"How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, ""Daddy, I want a new apartment."""
"Cop: You know why I pulled you over? M: Speeding? C: No! M: Not using my blinker? C: No! M: Because I'm drunk? Cop: Sir get off the mower!"
"[dark alley] Dealer: so what you want Me: a gram [dealer opens trenchcoat, revealing multiple grandmothers]"
"How mani Iowa citizens does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 4 no 5 no 6 no its really 4 - not sure, better flip a coin to get the right number"
"Why were those customers on Crazy Taxi' so pissed off all the time? SORRY IT TOOK 34 SECONDS TO GET TO PIZZA HUT MA'AM!"
"I've only taught my parrot to say ""REPETITION"" so far. Next I'm going to teach him to say ""IRONY AND ANNOYING ARE SYNONYMS"". ""SQUAWK!"""
"Do they make a scale that says things like ""Those shorts probably weigh, what, like 15 pounds?"""
"Kim Jong Un has become so fat We now refer to him as Kim Jong Deux."