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Joke of the Day

"oh my love, where are you, i am searching for you here and there, but never find you anywhere, just because of you heart is ringing the bell, just like a school bell."

"Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face yes."

"If women only knew of the horrors men have imagined to prevent premature ejaculation. We've seen things. Horrible horrible things."

"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."

"What's the biggest city in the United States? Obesity"

"What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car? A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)"

"What's the difference between a zit and a priest? Zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums in your face."

"Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Fucked-up Joke Frog. ""Fucked-up Joke Frog"" who? To get to the other side."

"TIL that in some states, graffiti vandals are fined $100-200 per letter. So if you make a whole bunch of letters, you could end up with a hefty sentence."