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Joke of the Day

"SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die"

"My teeth are so crooked they should run for office."

"I've just used glitter spray paint in a confined space, and now I'm on another planet busting disco moves with an intoxicated pixie."

"When she said ""I think we got way too much pizza."" I knew I Finally had my chance to shine, to be the hero."

"I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night. He must have been really into the boos! Happy October!"

"Just got every hair on my body waxed off except eyebrows and head. I look like a naked mole rat. Men, come & get me if you're into rodents."

"I wonder if Taylor Swift ever gets one of her songs stuck in her head and also wants to kill herself"

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"

"Where do comedian Eskimos live? A Giggloo."

"What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know I wasn't invited !"