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Joke of the Day

"The ""bishop"" came to our church today He was a fucking impostor. Never once moved diagonally."

"An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"Two mods and TheG18 walk into a bar... [dongered]"

"What's the worst part about eating out an 80 year old? Depends"

"The average person eats 8 spiders a year *eating 2nd bowl of spiders* ""WHO'S AVERAGE NOW DAD?"""

"The residents of Mayberry took a course in computer programming. Whenthe instructor said, ""Compile,"" Gomer went to the head of the class."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns? Because they always take things literally."

"Uh oh, happy facebook newlywed, your husband just created a twitter account."

"In an interview: ""How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?"" ""I Excel at it."" ""Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir?"" ""Word."" Edit: thanks u/Steve_Jobs_iGhost"

"How you call a girl that doesnt do blowjobs ? You simply don't call her."