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Joke of the Day

"He was a poor country boy. She was a rich city girl. They never met, due to geographic distance and rigid socioeconomic stratification."

"I think I'm allergic to alcohol... After about 10-12 beers, I throw up. It's the damndest thing!"

"What did the ZERO say to the EIGHT? Nice belt"

"Are you in a fight with another person? Well it really seems like you two are squaring off. At least to tell us the long side of the story according to the Pythagorean Theorem."

"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."

"A cell's sister stepped on the cell's toe. ""Mitosis"""

"My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, ""Am I menacing?"" I said, ""Of course, you're a choir girl."""

"I don't always tell Dad jokes... But I've been saving the best ones for twenty years, and we're going have such a laugh when he comes back with those smokes!"

"What is a pirates favourite letter It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty. (New original take on old joke)"

"[Dirty] How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave? I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection."