84305

Joke of the Day

"He was a poor country boy. She was a rich city girl. They never met, due to geographic distance and rigid socioeconomic stratification."

"*Reversing my car* Ahh, this takes me back."

"So many people try to be hip To me it is kind of a waist"

"Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I'm supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me."

"Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!"

"Just so you know, I have an Epi pen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I should have it."

"""we're out of bread"" ""ciabatta be kidding!"" [waiter takes out gun] ""make another bread pun and ur toast, pal... shit"" [i take out my gun]"

"""I'd like to raise a toast."" *Levitates bread*"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman ? Snowballs"

"I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car"