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Joke of the Day

"My new dentist called me back in to make another mold of my teeth. Needless to say he made a terrible 1st impression."

"Bodyguard Idea: Clowns. No one will come anywhere near you."

"What happens when so-and-so step in the neutrino's urine? He develops LEPTONspirosis."

"What is the most common comment on Reddit? OPs mother."

"People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology... I guess that it's my Achilles wrist."

"I accidentally muted the command switch on my driverless car... ...well, it goes without saying."

"My doctor said I need to eat more Taco Bell He actually said I was constipated, but I understood what he meant."

"Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on."

"What room is missing from almost every house? a Mushroom"

"If you're upset about the presidential election, just wait four years then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye"