9049
Joke of the Day
"People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology... I guess that it's my Achilles wrist."
Next Joke
"A dad is suspicious, and asks his teenager ""Son, would you pass a drug test right now?"" ""Sure, I know all about drugs - quiz me!"""
"The Maitre'D asked if we had reservations... I said, ""Yes, but when you're as hungry as we are you throw caution to the wind!"""
"What's the opposite of wake up sex? Necrophilia."
"What's green with little red wheels? Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels. Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite."
"What's the difference between a bird, and a bird with only one wing? It's a matter of [a pinion](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pinion)."
"So I broke up with the Japanese girl I was dating I had to drop the bomb twice"
"He always tells the jokes out of order Why would Tarantino be a terrible comedian?"
"""This is gonna be so awful, and everyone's least favorite, yet .0001 of the population will keep it in demand."" - Inventor of licorice"
"Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel well Teacher: Where don't you feel well? Son: In school!"