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Joke of the Day

"Isn't it amazing that your wallet is always so close to your ass...but somehow never smells bad?"

"Well that's a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I'm doing"

"It's like my wife didn't even TRY to clean the house while I went out to play poker... I mean, how am I supposed to live like this?"

"""Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."" --William Shakespeare (i think)"

"Which popstar cuts down trees? Michael LumberJackson"

"How long does it take for a Homeless man's stomach to be full? A couple of seconds."

"What so you call an Asian jew? Jew Lee"

"What are mixed feelings? Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW."

"I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken."

"How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground? ""DUCK!"" How do you get a kid up and running? ""GOOSE!"""