83891

Joke of the Day

"The inventor of throat lozenges has died today. There will be no coffin at his funeral."

"I went to the zoo, which is unfortunately closing due to a lack of visitors, and all that was left to see was... the going out of business snail."

"What online payment service does the Pope use? Papal."

"Did you hear about the proctologists collectible Corvettes? He wrecked em'."

"What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play? Hamlet."

"Had a date last night, but I don't kiss and tell. So I'll tell you all about it."

"You strike me as one of those people who show up and debunk all the fun in the last 2 minutes of an otherwise scintillating UFO TV program."

"""Sorry, I have to take this call."" ""That's a banana. And it's half eaten."" *covers banana with hand ""I don't tell you how to do business."""

"I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites."

"When Chuck Norris gives blood... ...he asks for a handgun and a bucket."