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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects."

"There once was a lady named Sue... ..who didn't have much to do. So she pulled out the vacuum, and went to the bathroom, and found a new way to go poo."

"I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls."

"a cool magic trick woud be if a magiciam puts their hand in a hat & sombody wearin a hat in the audience sudenly feels a hand on their head"

"Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars."

"You know what really surprised me about the debate tonight? Turns out it *is* possible to have a worse moderator than the team over at /r/news!"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked the problem out with a pencil."

"NSFW Your cock's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"

"My blonde girlfriend froze In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. "" oh..I saw this on youporn"" she said,"" they call it bufferring""."

"Potheads must have been disappointed with Jurassic Park... 'Cause there's no grass."