83752

Joke of the Day

"What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour? A fuel injected pickle."

"Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopus"

"WIFE: You overreact to everything! ME: [phones police]"

"I was in Nigeria browsing Tinder the other day It said ""There are no available girls in your area."" (Thanks Boko Haram)"

"Yo mama so fat, they're gonna put the movie in two parts."

"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."

"A guy walks into a pet store wanting to buy a talking bird. He sees a parrot and says to the bird, ""Hey, can you speak, stupid?"" The bird replies, ""Yes, can you fly, Dummy?"""

"Have you heard about that cop that shot the black guy? Which one?"

"Why is OP's mum like a bowling ball? Because she gets picked up, fingered and thrown down an alley then still comes back for more."