196077

Joke of the Day

"My brother had some bad news.. I saw my brother the other day, he told me ""Grandpa got badly burned"" ""Really how badly?"" ""Well they don't fuck around at the crematorium"""

"Greatest pickup line that never works!! I put the STD in stud, now all I need is U."

"There are two types of people in the world... ...those who pee in the shower, and liars."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. (Not sure if it's a repost, but I don't think I've seen it posted here.)"

"How do you separate Siamese triplets? WE CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN AND PASS THE SAVINGS ALONG TO YOUUUUU!!!"

"Would you like something from my Easter basket? ""Sure!"" ""Here. Have some plastic grass."""

"You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears"

"How did Moses make his tea? Hebrewed it"

"My wife said that our son feels neglected. I didn't even know we had a son."

"[Friday Night] WIFE: Have fun at poker ME {stopping at door}: What did you say? W: Have fun ME: After that W: Uh...at poker- ME: IT'S POKEMON"