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Joke of the Day
"Couches pull out... I don't"
Next Joke
"I bet Thor would lose his shit if he knew how many hammers are at Home Depot."
"It's so weird to think that nothing before the invention of pics happened."
"Let's all take a moment to honor National Punctuation Day because life would be: very, confusing! Without it?"
"If Coca-Cola really cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in."
"How do you save a suicidal procrastinator? Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow."
"Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers."
"0 Two muffins baking in the oven. One says ""Bloody hell! It's hot in here."" The other spins around..... ""AAAHHHHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!! GET ME OUT!!!!"""
"How do you make $3 million in 48 seconds? Ask Ronda Rousey!"
"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes -WHAM!- ""FUCK!"" A bad skydiver goes ""FUCK!"" -WHAM!-"