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Joke of the Day
"Besides watermelon, there should be windmelon, firemelon and earthmelon. The four elemelons."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock. Who's There? Not Comcast."
"The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight."
"Why do we cry..... When it's the onions that are being hurt?"
"What did Ted Cruz's wife get after being elbowed by him? A Ted Bruz"
"[at my intervention] mom: some of us feel uncomfortable with your pinned tweet"
"Describe yourself in three words. I am a rebel."
"Wife: ""You talk like some poorly written science fiction novel. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""I swear by the 12 moons of Bumtar I can change!"""
"A man entered a pun contest and submitted 10 puns, hoping at least one would win... No pun in ten did."
"I'd be less introverted if the conversations in my head weren't better than the conversations I have with other people."