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Joke of the Day

"Look, no hands! The worst thing you could hear during a prostate exam."

"About the blind man that took up parachuting. He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't."

"6: I'm done. Me: you didn't even touch your food! 6 pokes food w/finger *without breaking eye contact* The Sass is strong with this one"

"""I'll be back!"" -boomerangs -and herpes"

"Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Florence? Dad: Because we conceived her in Florence, Italy. Son: I guess that's a nice way of naming your kids. Dad: Yeah, Backseat, it is."

"Life is full of people you can't have and people you don't want."

"At the Special Olympics they don't use starter pistols... They use Spud Guns."

"I tried dropping the Google Maps human icon in North Korea... and he jumped back into his original position out of fear."

"COP:Do u know how fast u were going ME: The posted speed limit, 495 COP: Sir that's the route number, i don't even know how I caught up to u"

"What has four legs and is made out of wood? A horse."