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Joke of the Day

"The chicken and egg have sex The chicken, enjoying a post coital cigarette, turns to the egg and says ""Well, that answered that old question"""

"Daughter: Dad do Zombies exist? Dad: No dear they're people wearing lots of makeup. Daughter: Oh like mommy? Dad: Close enough."

"The New England Patriots deflate balls to win a game... and get punished with a low pressure system."

"My car has a GPS, but when I get lost I still usually just end up busting out a globe"

"Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way"

"Family tree Your family tree is a cactus, because everyone on it is a prick."

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Hey it could happen!"

"An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So he went in and applied for the job!"

"Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M; factory? A: Proof-reading."

"WE WOULD BE RICH IF YOU SAID JUST ONE DAMN WORD! -drunken me to my dog"