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Joke of the Day

"Abstinence-only education... Was the first time I got screwed."

"If you are really good at comedy you can make $250 writing for a multimillionaire."

"I get really bad anxiety when driving over bridges. My therapist says I have truss issues."

"TIL that constipation is hereditary. My dad never gave a shit."

"The story of the upvote DAT SHAT be unin a gut tiiime we needsa usa deaa oopvote us a doonvote n all da boom world bee hap hap@#! Der viginia is a centurfuge of paap!@#$%^&*()_+"

"Why did Snoop Dog go to cinnabon? Fo' Drizzle"

"How does a blonde turn on the light after making love? Opens the car door."

"Thanks for wiping down my table... a damp surface that smells like a dirty sweat sock is so much better than a few crumbs."

"I was having trouble sending text messages to my friend yesterday - so I text him ""test"" this AM. He quickly responded back - ""icle""........"

"Why did the corn maze go back to school? It was tired of working in a dead end field."