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Joke of the Day

"For today. * Knock knock. * Who's there? * 9/11. * 9/11 who? * [You said you wouldn't forget](/spoiler)"

"I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception."

"lately my house has been a bit drafty... not because its' poorly insulated, but because my wife keeps bringing home marines..."

"Religion is like masturbation. It's okay to practice it at home in private, but when people start gathering to do it together shit goes downhill."

"Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States."

"ShermanFury @ShermanFury, so clever...."

"98% of black people love having sex in showers The other 2% haven't been to prison yet"

"Q:Whats is fat ugly and gives good head? A:Your mom OOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooo"

"Easter used to be called Wester But they decided to take things in a new direction."

"What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!"