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Joke of the Day

"For today. * Knock knock. * Who's there? * 9/11. * 9/11 who? * [You said you wouldn't forget](/spoiler)"

"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to the local swimming pool. So I gave him a cup of water."

"Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?"

"Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van."

"Gay dudes are fucking assholes! Straight dudes are fucking vaginas."

"Mexican Magician There was a Mexican Magician standing on the stage. He said, ""On the count of three, I will make myself disappear!"" ""Uno!"" ""Dos!"" POOF! He disappeared without a tres!"

"Why Donald Trump will be one term president? One can only trump the nation once!"

"I'm so tired of hearing people complain about being hung over. Just stop your wining."

"What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? Rep-tiles."

"What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"