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Joke of the Day

"And YOU get a vegetable pod! And YOU get a vegetable pod! And YOU get a vegetable pod! And YOU get a vegetable pod! ~ The Okra Show"

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"Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money furs and diamonds."
"I haven't seen David Luiz this upset since Bart and Lisa got him sent to prison."
"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"
"A conversation between 2 vegans: ""I'm a vegan."" ""I'm a vegan too."" ""Oh."" ""So...you're a vegan?"" ""Yes, I am a vegan."" ""Me too."""
"""Hey, we're wearing the same shoes,"" I say to a teenager, ruining her day."
"My cousin Denise's baby Alpo was born with no feet and a full adult penis because she drank Four Loko when she was pregnant :("
"I wish I was Jean Claude Van Damme, not to be able to roundhouse kick my co-worker, but to bore him to death as I act out a scene."
"What do you call a woman who misses her period? Fucked"
"Today, I cleaned the house. It was awesome. My favorite part was finding things I didn't remember having. Like where'd these kids come from?"
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