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Joke of the Day
"Why are round bales of hay illegal? Because cows can't get a square meal."
Next Joke
"[NSFW] What do you do when your penis starts acting up? Beat the fuck out of it!"
"Apparently champagne is the easiest alcohol to digest, so I'm going to consume several bottles to wash down my salad."
"What happens when sharks take their clothes off ? They go sharkers !"
"What's the difference between a Baby Hobbit and Taco Bell? One throws shire fits, and the other gives you fire shits."
"What do you call a female peacock...? A peacunt"
"What do you need to make a crystal salad? Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice"
"""Would you just look at all this bullshit?!"" - enthusiastic fertilizer suppliers"
"""500 Days of Summer"" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming."
"Why is Jesus terrible in bed? Because it takes three days for him to rise again, and two thousand years to come twice."