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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the new fishing net technology that is 300% more effective? cod damn it"

"Which pirate makes the best food? Captain Cook."

"Poor Susie! Q: Why couldn't Susie ride the swings? A: Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie!"

"Why is the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in Coffee instead of Caw Fee."

"My dick is like my grades.... Because its curved."

"What do you call it when a video game character gets hair on his body? Q*berty. (my kids wrote this!)"

"My ex texted ""You've got a friend in me. XoXo"". I thought she was being too nice until I realized that she was talking about my buddy Dave."

"If Romeo & Juliet didn't die and were allowed to marry, they'd have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other. So it was a happy ending"

"So confused right now, don't know whether to join a gym or buy Photoshop."

"Everyone has a thigh gap... ...when they're doing the splits."