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Joke of the Day

"How do most elderly golfers die? They have a bad stroke"

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"Two dogs meet on the street and sniff each other... Finally one says, ""I don't recall your name but your feces familiar."""
"What gets whiter as it gets dirtier? Michael Jackson!"
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"INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to ""move it move it."" ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?"
"What do you call a group of singing killer whales? An orca-stra."
"How does Moses make his coffee? He-brews it"
"My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink."
"me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived"
"What do eggs say when they're turnt? Omelette, fam"