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Joke of the Day
"I've been happily married for four years out of a total of 10."
Next Joke
"Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won't remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me."
"terrifying if it really happened: the kiss emoji with the heart coming out of the mouth"
"I like my women like I like my pie.... Made by my grandmother."
"I spilled spot remover on my dog Now he's gone."
"WHITE BITCHES: stop flipping your hair into people. Be aware of yourself in space."
"I sometimes feel kinda brave until I see a slightly above average size moth."
"Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you."
"I'm pitching a prison dating show called 'America's Next Top Bottom'"
"So a suicide bombing instructor walks into his classroom... ...and says, ""Okay, I'm only going to show you guys this once..."""