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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever visited the area between Thailand and Vietnam? Don't bother. It's pretty Laos-y."

"This girl I know has started saying ""true story"" after everything which is interesting because I've never murdered before."

"Working with horses is hard but it's stable work."

"Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I'm in public"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you."

"Prove that lightning isn't wizards fighting. You can't."

"What's the difference between a religion and a cult? A religion drinks wine and a cult drinks Kool-Aid."

"Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread."

"90 years from now, they'll sing songs about the courage and bravery you displayed during the great ""Instagram Selling Your Photos"" skirmish."

"I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos."