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Joke of the Day

"The most courageous thing a TV show can do now is keep all its characters alive."

"Bouncer: Woah. Dress code Me: This is a suit B: Yeah, a chicken suit. *puts nugget in bouncer's pocket *pats it M: We good? B: Have fun, sir"

"What does a feminist doorbell say? Stop-oppressing-me"

"I just witnessed an employee choking on her noodles and now I feel sorry for her husband."

"How did Jesus get to the other side of the street? He used the Cross Walk."

"Made the mistake of dropping my pants when my dentist put on latex gloves."

"What do you call a virgin redneck? A girl that can outrun her brothers."

"COP: Know why I stopped you? ""Drag racing?"" COP: Nope. ""Speeding?"" COP: Definitely not. ""Cuz I'm on a unicycle?"" COP: That's the one."

"There are three types of people in the world Those who can count, and those who can't"

"""It wasn't always easy growing up. Sometimes we had to wait .04 seconds for 9 million Google results to load."" - 2044 Presidential candidate"